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  • Title: The Troublesome Reign of King John ((Quarto, 1581))
  • Editor: Karen Oberer

  • Copyright Queen's Men Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: Anonymous
    Editor: Karen Oberer
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    The Troublesome Reign of King John ((Quarto, 1581))

    Enter
    The troublesome Raigne
    1225Enter Philip leading a Frier, charging him to show where
    the Abbots golde lay.
    Philip Come on you fat Franciscans, dallie no longer, but
    shew me where the Abbots treasure lyes, or die.
    Frier Benedicamus Domini, was euer such an iniurie.
    1230Sweete S. Withold of thy lenitie, defend vs from extremitie,
    And heare vs for S. Charitie, oppressed with austeritie.
    In nomini Domini, make I my homilie,
    Gentle Gentilitie grieue not the Cleargie.
    Philip Grey gownd good face, coniure ye,
    1235 ner trust me for a groate,
    If this waste girdle hang thee not
    that girdeth in thy coate.
    Now balde and barefoote Bungie birds
    when vp the gallowes climing,
    1240Say Philip he had words inough
    to put you downe with ryming.
    Frier A pardon, O parce, Saint Fraunces for mercie,
    Shall shield thee from nightspells and dreaming of diuells,
    If thou wilt forgiue me, and neuer more grieue me,
    1245With fasting and praying, and Haile Marie saying.
    From black Purgatorie a penance right sorie.
    Frier Thomas will warme you,
    It shall neuer harme you.
    Philip Come leaue off your rabble,
    1250Sirs hang vp this lozell.
    2. Frier For charitie I beg his life,
    Saint Frauncis chiefest Frier,
    The best in all our Couent Sir,
    to keepe a Winters fier.
    1255 O strangle not the good olde man,
    my hostesse oldest guest,
    And I will bring you by and by
    vnto the Priors chest.
    Philip
    of King Iohn.
    Philip I, saist thou so, & if thou wilt the frier is at libertie,
    1260If not, as I am honest man, Ile hang you both for companie.
    Frier Come hether, this is the chest though simple to behold
    That wanteth not a thousand pound in siluer and in gold.
    My selfe will warrant full so much, I know the Abbots store,
    Ile pawne my life there is no lesse to haue what ere is more.
    1265Philip I take thy word, the ouerplus vnto thy share shall
    come,
    But if there want of full so much, thy neck shall pay the sum.
    Breake vp the Cofer, Frier.
    Frier Oh I am vndun, faire Alice the Nun
    1270Hath tooke vp her rest in the Abbots chest,
    Sancte benedicite, pardon my simplicitie.
    Fie Alice, confession will not salue this transgression.
    Philip What haue wee here, a holy Nun? So kéeeepe mee
    God in health,
    1375A smooth facte Nunne (for ought I knowe) is all the Abbots
    wealth.
    Is this the Nonries chastitie? Beshrewe me but I thinke
    They goe as oft to Uenery, as niggards to their drinke.
    Why paltrey Frier and Pandar too, yee shamelesse shauen
    1380 crowne,
    Is this the chest that held a hoord, at least a thousand pound?
    And is the hoord a holy whore? Wel be the hangman nimble,
    Hee'le take the paine to paye you home, and teach you to dis-
    semble.
    1385Nunne O spare the Frier Anthony, a better neuer was
    To sing a Dirige solemnly, or read a morning Masse.
    If money be the meanes of this, I know an ancient Nunne,
    That hath a hoord this seauen yeares, did neuer sée the sunne;
    And that is yours, and what is ours, so fauour now be shown,
    1390You shall commaund as commonly, as if it were your owne.
    Frier Your honour excepted.
    Nunne I Thomas, I meane so.
    Philip From all saue from Friers.
    Nunne Good Sir, doo not thinke so?
    F Philip
    The troublesome Raigne
    1395Philip I thinke and see so: why how camst thou here?
    Frier To hide her from lay meu.
    Nunne Tis true sir, for feare.
    Philip For feare of the laytie: a pitifull dred
    When a Nunne flies for succour to a fat Friers bed.
    1400But now for your ransome my Cloyster-bred Conney,
    To the chest that you speake of where lyes so much money.
    Nunne Faire Sir, within this presse, of plate & money is
    The valew of a thousand markes, and other thing by gis.
    Let vs alone, and take it all, tis yours Sir, now you know it.
    1405Philip Come on sir Frier, pick the locke, this geere dooth
    cotton hansome,
    That couetousnes so cunningly must pay ye letchers ransom.
    What is in the hoord?
    Frier Frier Laurence my Lord, now holy water help vs,
    1410Some witch, or some diuell is sent to delude vs:
    Haud credo Laurentius, that thou shouldst be pend thus
    In the presse of a Nun we are all vndon,
    And brought to discredence if thou be Frier Laureuce,
    Frier Amor vincit omnia, so Cato affirmeth,
    1415And therefore a Frier whose fancie soone burneth:
    Because he is mortall and made of mould,
    He omits what he ought, and doth more than he should.
    Philip How goes this géere? the Friers chest filde with
    a fausen Nunne,
    1420The Nunne again locks Frier vp, to keep him frõ the Sun.
    Belike the presse is purgatorie, or penance passing grieuous:
    The Friers chest a hel for Nuns. How do these dolts deceiue
    Is this the labour of their liues to féede and liue at ease, (vs?
    To reuell so lasciuiously as often as they please.
    1425Ile mend the fault or fault my ayme, if I do misse amending,
    Tis better burn ye cloisters down than leaue thẽ for offending.
    But holy you, to you I speake, to you religious diuell,
    Is this the presse that holdes the summe to quite you for your
    euill.
    1430Nunne I crie Peccaui, parce me, good Sir I was beguild.
    Frier
    of King Iohn.
    Frier Absolue Sir for charitie she would be reconcilde.
    Phi. And so I shall, sirs binde them fast, this is their absolutiõ,
    Go hang them vp for hurting them, hast them to execution.
    Fr. Lawrence O tempus edax rerum,
    1435Geue children bookes they teare them.
    O vanitas vanitatis, in this waning aetatis,
    At threescore welneere to goe to this geere,
    To my conscience a clog to dye like a dog.
    Exaudi me Domine, siuis me parce
    1440Dabo pecuniam, si habeo veniam
    To goe and fetch it, I will dispatch it,
    A hundred pound sterling for my liues sparing.
    Enter Peter a Prophet, with people.
    Peter Hoe, who is here, S. Fraunces be your spéed,
    1445Come in my flock, and follow me, your fortunes I will reed
    Come hether boy, goe get thee home, and clime not ouerhie:
    For from aloft thy fortunes stands in hazard thou shalt die.
    Boy God be with you Peter, I pray you come to our house
    a Sunday.
    1450Peter My boy show me thy hand, blesse thee my boy,
    For in thy palme I sée a many troubles are ybent to dwell,
    But thou shalt scape them all and doo full well.
    Boy I thanke you Peter, theres a cheese for your labor: my
    sister prayes ye to come home, & tell her how many husbands
    1455she shall haue, and shee'l giue you a rib of bacon.
    Peter My masters, stay at the towns end for me, Ile come
    to you all anon: I must dispatch some busines with a Frier,
    and then Ile read your fortunes.
    Philip How now, a Prophet? Sir prophet whence are ye?
    1460Peter I am of the world and in the world, but liue not as
    others by the world: what I am I know, and what thou wilt
    be I know. If thou knowest me now be answered: if not, en-
    quire no more what I am.
    Phil. Sir, I know you will be a dissembling knaue, that
    1465deludes the people with blinde prophecies: you are him I
    looke for, you shall away with me: bring away all the rabble,
    F 2 and
    The troublesome Raigne
    and you Frier Laurence remember your raunsome a hundred
    pound, and a pardon for your selfe, and the rest come on. Sir
    Prophet, you shall with me, to receiue a Prophets rewarde.
    1470Exeunt.