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  • Title: Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay (Quarto)
  • Editors: Christopher Hicklin, Christopher Matusiak

  • Copyright Queen's Men Editions. This text may be freely used for educational, non-profit purposes; for all other uses contact the Editor.
    Author: Robert Greene
    Editors: Christopher Hicklin, Christopher Matusiak
    Peer Reviewed

    Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay (Quarto)

    Enter three doctors, Burden, Mason,
    825Mason. Now that we are gathered in the regent house,
    It fits vs talke about the kings repaire,
    For he troopt with all the westerne kings
    That lie alongst the Dansick seas by East,
    North by the clime of frostie Germanie,
    830The Almain Monarke, and the Scocon duke,
    Castile, and louely Ellinor with him,
    Haue in their iests resolued for Oxford towne.
    Burden. We must lay plots of stately tragedies,
    Strange comick showes, such as proud Rossius
    835Vaunted before the Romane Emperours.
    Clement. To welcome all the westerne Potentates
    But more the king by letters hath foretold,
    That Fredericke the Almaine Emperour
    Hath brought with him a Germane of esteeme,
    840Whose surname is Don Iaquesse Vandermast,
    Skilfull in magicke and those secret arts.
    Mason. Then must we all make sute vnto the frier,
    To Frier Bacon that he vouch this taske,
    And vndertake to counteruaile in skill
    845The German, els theres none in Oxford can,
    Match and dispute with learned Vandermast.
    Burden. Bacon, if he will hold the German play,
    Weele teach him what an English Frier can doe:
    The diuell I thinke dare not dispute with him.
    850Clement. Indeed mas doctor he pleasured you,
    In that he brought your hostesse with her spit,
    From Henly posting vnto Brazennose.
    Burden. A vengeance on the Frier for his paines,
    But leauing that, lets hie to Bacon straight,
    855To see if he will take this taske in hand.
    Clement. Stay what rumor is this, the towne is vp in a mu-
    tinie, what hurly burlie is this?
    Enter a Constable, with Raphe, Warren, Ermsbie
    and Miles.
    860Constable. Nay maisters if you were nere so good, you shall
    before the doctors to aunswer your misdemeanour.
    Burden. Whats the matter fellow?
    Constable. Marie sir, heres a companie of rufflers that drin-
    king in the Tauerne haue made a great braule, and almost kilde
    865the vintner.
    Miles. Salue doctor Burden, this lubberly lurden,
    Ill shapte and ill faced, disdaind and disgraced,
    What he tels vnto vobis, mentitur de nobis.
    Burden. Who is the maister and cheefe of this crew?
    870Miles. Ecce asinum mundi, fugura rotundi,
    Neat sheat and fine, as briske as a cup of wine.
    Burden. What are you?
    Raphe. I am father doctor as a man would say, the Belwe-
    ther of this cõpany, these are my lords, and I the prince of Wales.
    875Clement. Are you Edward the kings sonne?
    Raphe. Sirra Miles, bring hither the tapster that drue the
    wine, and I warrant when they see how soundly I haue broke his
    head, theile say twas done by no lesse man than a prince.
    Mason. I cannot beleeue that this is the prince of Wales.
    880Warren. And why so sir?
    Mason. For they say the prince is a braue & a wise gentleman.
    VVar. Why and thinkest thou doctor that he is not so?
    Darst thou detract and derogat from him,
    Being so louely and so braue a youth.
    885Ermsbie. Whose face shining with many a sugred smile,
    Bewraies that he is bred of princely race.
    Miles. And yet maister doctor, to speake like a proctor,
    And tell vnto you, what is veriment and true,
    To cease of this quarrell, look but on his apparrell,
    890Then mark but my talis, he is great prince of Walis,
    The cheefe of our gregis, and filius regis,
    Then ware what is done, for he is Henries white sonne.
    Raphe. Doctors whose doting nightcaps are not capable of
    my ingenious dignitie, know that I am Edward Plantagenet,
    895whom if you displease, will make a shippe that shall hold all your
    colleges, and so carrie away the Niniuersitie with a fayre wind, to
    the Bankeside in Southwarke, how sayst thou Ned Warraine,
    shall I not do it?
    VVarren. Yes my good lord, and if it please your lordship,
    900I wil gather vp al your old pantophles, and with the corke, make
    you a Pinnis of fiue hundred tunne, that shall serue the turne
    maruellous well, my lord.
    Ermsbie. And I my lord will haue Pioners to vndermine the
    towne, that the very Gardens and orchards be carried away for
    905your summer walkes.
    Miles. And I with scientia, and great diligentia,
    Will coniure and charme, to keepe you from harme,
    That vtrum horum mauis, your very great nauis,
    Like Bartlets ship, from Oxford do skip,
    910With Colleges and schooles, full loaden with fooles,
    Quid dices ad hoc, worshipfull domine Dawcocke.
    Clement. Why harebraind courtiers, are you drunke or mad,
    To taunt vs vp with such scurilitie,
    Deeme you vs men of base and light esteeme,
    915To bring vs such a fop for Henries sonne,
    Call out the beadls and conuay them hence,
    Straight to Bocardo, let the roisters lie
    Close clapt in bolts, vntill their wits be tame.
    Ermsbie. Why shall we to prison my lord?
    920Raphe. What saist Miles, shall I honour the prison with my (presence?
    Miles. No no, out with your blades, and hamper these iades,
    Haue a flurt and a crash, now play reuell dash,
    And teach these Sacerdos, that the Bocardos,
    Like pezzants and elues, are meet for themselues.
    925Mason. To the prison with them constable.
    Warren. Well doctors seeing I haue sported me,
    With laughing at these mad and merrie wagges,
    Know that prince Edward is at Brazennose,
    And this attired like the prince of Wales,
    930Is Raphe, king Henries only loued foole,
    I, earle of Essex, and this Ermsbie
    One of the priuie chamber to the king,
    Who while the prince with Frier Bacon staies,
    Haue reueld it in Oxford as you see.
    935Mason. My lord pardon vs, we knew not what you were,
    But courtiers may make greater skapes than these,
    Wilt please your honour dine with me to day?
    VVarren. I will maister doctor, and satisfie the vintner for his
    hurt, only I must desire you to imagine him all this forenoon the
    940prince of Wales.
    Mason. I will sir.
    Raphe. And vpon that I will lead the way, onely I will haue
    Miles go before me, because I haue heard Henrie say, that wise-
    dome must go before Maiestie. Exeunt omnes.