Peer Reviewed
- Edition: Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay
Friar Bacon and Friar Bungay (Modern)
- Introduction
- Texts of this edition
- Contextual materials
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- The Famous History of Friar Bacon
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- Inventions or Devices Very Necessary for all Generals and Captains or Leaders of Men
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- A Book of Magic, with Instructions for Invoking Spirits
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- A Geometrical Practice named Pantometria
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- Autobiographical Tracts of Dr. John Dee
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- The Vanity of the Eye
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- The Comical History of Alphonsus King of Aragon
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Enter [Prince Edward], malcontented, with Lacy, earl of 2Lincoln, John Warren, earl of Sussex, and Ermsby, 3gentleman, [and] Rafe Simnell, the king's fool.
After the prince got to the Keeper's lodge
Sirrah Rafe, what say you to your master?
Hearest thou, Ned?-- Nay, look if he will speak 27to me.
What say'st thou to me, fool?
I prithee tell me, Ned, art thou in love with the 30Keeper's daughter?
How if I be, what then?
Why then, sirrah, I'll teach thee how to deceive love.
How, Rafe?
Marry, sirrah Ned, thou shalt put on my cap and 35my coat and my dagger, and I will put on thy clothes and thy 36sword, and so thou shalt be my fool.
And what of this?
Why so thou shalt beguile Love, for Love is such a 39proud scab that he will never meddle with fools nor children. Is 40not Rafe's counsel good, Ned?
Tell me, Ned Lacy, didst thou mark the maid,
Sirrah Will Ermsby, Ned is deceived.
Why, Rafe?
He says all England hath no such, and I say, and 48I'll stand to it, there is one better in Warwickshire.
How provest thou that, Rafe?
Why, is not the Abbot a learnéd man and hath read 51many books, and thinkest thou he hath not more learning than 52thou to choose a bonny wench? Yes, I warrant thee, by his whole 53grammar.
A good reason, Rafe.
I tell thee, Lacy, that her sparkling eyes
I grant, my lord, the damsel is as fair
Ah, Ned, but hadst thou watched her as myself,
Why, how watched you her, my lord?
When as she swept like Venus through the house,
Sirrah Ned, wouldst fain have her?
Ay, Rafe.
Why, Ned, I have laid the plot in my head. Thou 95shalt have her already.
I'll give thee a new coat an learn me that.
Why, sirrah Ned, we'll ride to Oxford to Friar Bacon. Oh, 98he is a brave scholar, sirrah. They say he is a brave necromancer, 99that he can make women of devils, and he can juggle cats into 100costermongers.
And how then, Rafe?
Marry, sirrah, thou shalt go to him, and because thy 103father Harry shall not miss thee, he shall turn me into thee; and 104I'll to the court and I'll prince it out, and he shall make thee 105either a silken purse full of gold or else a fine wrought smock.
But how shall I have the maid?
Marry, sirrah, if thou be'st a silken purse full of gold, 108then on Sundays she'll hang thee by her side, and you must not 109say a word. Now, sir, when she comes into a great press of people, 110for fear of the cutpurse on a sudden she'll swap thee into her 111placket; then, sirrah, being there you may plead for yourself.
Excellent policy!
But how if I be a wrought smock?
Then she'll put thee into her chest and lay thee 115into lavender, and upon some good day she'll put thee on, and at 116night when you go to bed, then being turned from a smock to a 117man, you may make up the match.
Wonderfully wisely counseled, Rafe.
Rafe shall have a new coat.
God thank you when I have it on my back, Ned.
Lacy, the fool hath laid a perfect plot
Content, my lord; and that's a speedy way
I am unknown, not taken for the prince;
I will, my lord, so execute this charge
Send letters speedily to Oxford of the news.
And, sirrah Lacy, buy me a thousand thousand 161million of fine bells.
What wilt thou do with them, Rafe?
Marry, every time that Ned sighs for the Keeper's 164daughter, I'll tie a bell about him, and so within three or four 165days I will send word to his father, Harry, that his son and my 166master Ned is become Love's morris dance.
Well, Lacy, look with care unto thy charge,
God send your honor your heart's desire.
1.140.1Exeunt.